Well friends, I know it's been almost a month since I posted last, but please forgive me. Remember to send me an email anytime at christine.rankin10@houghton.edu if you're wondering the latest!
Also forgive me for writing another intense blog post - I promise it will end on a happy encouraging note.
A traitorous thought has been stuck in my mind that last two weeks: "Why does this year have to be so hard?". I kept it in my head, because who wants to admit that they're struggling and who wants to ask a question no one has the answer to? I finally talked about it with Rich this weekend and my two biggest points were: I'm so sick of crying and I just can't see the bigger picture of what God has in mind for these troubles. To address the crying, I've cried more since January than I have in my whole life (my mom might not agree with this :P). I just feel the Lord breaking me and my heart. But why? I know there is a purpose. Actually, I trust in my heart that there is a purpose. Alongside wondering why this year has to be so hard was the question: Do I ever expect my life to be easy? Do I even want that? I don't think I do. Only I know how much I'm really growing and changing this year and trust me, I see God's hand all over that. It's amazing.
Basically, I'm a coward. I mean it. I don't like to do difficult or scary things, but sometimes I just have to and other times they're thrown at me. This year has been some of both, but mostly having things thrown at me. Difficult times are an opportunity to grow and trust more in the Lord. In the midst of pain it's hard to have this mindset, I usually don't believe it until I can see some light at the end of the tunnel. I'm in a place of trusting right now and God's begun to change my mindset and my circumstances some.
Now, some of you are wondering when I'll tell you what has been so hard. I shared some of those things in my last post, but the newest struggle was one of our American teachers deciding to go home early. First and foremost, I didn't want her to leave because I'm going to miss her. Already, the house feels really empty with just two of us. Second, it changed my schedule a bit. Some of you will remember that this is now the 3rd time my schedule has changed. I consider myself flexible and a person who deals well with change, having experienced frequent major changes in my life. This didn't stop my tears when I realized I would be teaching Prepa (kindergarten) in that teacher's absence and that meant giving up my precious 1st graders. Had I mentioned that I'm totally in love with that grade? I was heartbroken. What would my mornings be like without their sweet hugs and smiling faces? I didn't want to let go. I started teaching Prepa last Monday. Here are my thoughts about my 31 new students:
They have drippy noses, their feet don't touch the floor, they give me blank looks when I ask questions, they can't tie their shoes, they won't stay in their seats, they yell, their faces light up when they see me on the bus, four of them can hold my hands at one time, they take coloring seriously, they think four hugs a day just isn't enough, they work hard, they're God's precious children. I love them. Things are going to be better than OK.
On to some new and exciting things happening down here!
Last week, we had a purity conference for our 6th-8th grade students. We took a whole day of school and a lovely family came down to run and teach the whole thing. In a culture who's view of self worth, women, sex and relationships is very skewed, many of us teachers had been talking about wanting to do something like this with our students. Enter Lacy's family! They said they'd love to come down and teach on this topic for us! We held it on Valentine's Day and the whole thing went so well! Many students responded positively to what was taught and seemed to take it very seriously. I had the chance to pray with some of my 8th grade girls when they made promises to God to remain pure until their wedding day. Wow. What an amazing opportunity to be a part of something like this. Their decision not only affects their lives, but the lives of their families, friends and future family. Thank you, Jesus, for doing such an amazing work at our school. Please be in prayer for our students that they will trust in God and stay true to their promise!!
ALSO, last week (everything ever happened last week) the cafe at my church opened up! I will be volunteering there 2 days a week. I started last Thursday after school and I loved it! I'm excited about the ministry that this cafe will be. It's run by volunteers and any profit will go towards furthering the projects my church here is already involved in. Also, we intend to make it a place were people can come to relax, study and have good conversations. I hope to befriend some regulars and have a chance to share my faith with them! God's going to do really great things there!
Now, when anyone asks how I am, they also ask about Rich. (Is that just how it's going to be from now on?! :P). Things are going great! We're quickly learning that relationships are a lot of work, but certainly rewarding. Also, because of this whole long distance thing, we're going to be the best communicators ever by the time I go back to the USA. The best part, he's visiting the first week of April! I.can't.wait.
As I faced and continue to face struggles here, this verse seems to "randomly" pop up everywhere I read. I know God knew it was the verse I needed to turn my attention back to Him and a reminder that His heart breaks when mine does and He wants me to look to Him for healing. Thanks for reading. I love and miss you all!
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."
~2 Corinthians 12:9
